Not All Dog Owners Are Morons

The first time I saw a plastic bag of dog poo growing on a tree, I had to have a closer look. How could such a miracle exist? A dog poo tree. It’s the kind of thing I expect to read about in the Book of Revelations. Maybe it’s in there? (I’ve never actually read the Book of Revelations because I’m anxious I won’t like what it says about me.)

I’m not saying dog poo on the pavement is attractive, but it is organic and nature knows what to do with it. Putting it in a plastic bag and tying it to the branch of a tree seems silly to me. It’s not like the environment isn’t choking on enough plastic as it is.

Of course, the bags could be compostable, which would downgrade the offence from pollution to littering.

It’s cruel to the dog as well. Imagine how ever so proud they must feel when master (or mistress) takes the effort to collect their business in a special bag. Perhaps, for a fleeting moment, they think it’s going into a special display cabinet at home? The kind of conversation piece you gather your dinner guests around? But no. Doggy’s pride is smashed when you abandon their poo on the branch of a tree. Out of reach even for other dogs to enjoy.

I bet the squirrels and the birds aren’t pleased either. Or the tree.

Of course, not all dog owners are morons. Some leave the poo right there on the pavement for you to step in.

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